A Few Favorite Business Ideas

..and some aren’t even taken already!

Photo by Alexa Soh on Unsplash

As you can see by the photo, I am not the only one to have thought offering two-bite desserts. It seems to me that at the conclusion of a meal, nearly everyone would like a little dessert—but really, just a LITTLE, most of the time; hence my idea for Two-Bite Dessert Bar. You would walk into the bakery and hear the tinkling of a little bell. There would be French café curtains, and little round tables with comfortable chairs,. There would be a case featuring all kinds of baby desserts: lemon meringue pies, chocolate chip cookies, butterscotch pudding, blondie brownies, you name it. Each dessert would be served on a tiny paper doily on a vintage-themed saucer, and the silverware with which you ate it (if you used silverware) would all be vintage, and none of the patterns would match. The coffee cups, however, would be regular size. You could sit at a little table and have a little dessert and not feel too much guilt, and also you could pack up a big bakery box with all kinds of different desserts for a party.

It seems I am always having ideas for businesses. I started young, going from door to door at about age 8 selling potholders that I made on my loom. It seemed to me that I could become a millionaire in no time. First of all, who doesn’t need potholders? Secondly, when I went out selling potholders, I sold my entire inventory to the second place I tried. A man answered the door, I asked if he would like to buy a pot holder, he asked how much they were, I told him, and he bought the whole lot. (Speaking of millionaires, I thought he was one.) Unfortunately, I lost interest in making potholders pretty quickly and moved on to other ideas, though they came when I was older.

In my late 20s, I tried a recipe for caramel rolls that I thought was sensational. We were living in Evanston, Illinois at the time, and I had an idea that I would bring my caramel rolls down to the L station and sell them for $.50 apiece. My then-husband was mortified that I would even consider doing such a thing, but I thought it could be a big hit. Alas, without the critical support I needed from my significant other. I never tried the idea. No matter, I undoubtedly would have gone nuts trying to make enough caramel rolls to turn a profit. In that same town, however, I did embroider overalls for young children: flowers coming out of dungaree pockets, trains, wild haired, friendly monsters. Those did sell, but I only charged five dollars apiece, so it took many hours to make enough money to buy a roast beef, which is exactly what I bought with my first paycheck just before I gave up THAT business.

I had an idea for a fabric store that I was going to call Sew and Sew. I had an idea for a store with high end cookware that I was going to call Good-Looking Cooking. Like lots and lots of other people, I had an idea for a restaurant. It was going to serve healthy comfort food, things like turkey meatloaf and mashed sweet potatoes, and wonderful salads and soups, that sort of thing. Homemade bread on the table. Vintage table cloths, and once again vintage dishware. I figured it would be such a popular place that I would have to show reruns of Leave it to Beaver in the lobby where people would wait for a table. Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best. It was going to be called The Clean Plate Club. And get this. There would be no menus! The meal of the day would be posted on a blackboard outside the restaurant. You come in, you sit down after your hands are washed, and you eat your dinner. Just like with your mom.No decisions! No asking put-upon waitstaff, “If you had to choose between the grilled salmon or the buttermilk fried chicken, what would YOU pick?”

The best business idea I’ve had, I think, is for Dog Airlines. You know how much people love their dogs! You know how people treat them like children, often times! You know how people will drive far distances just so they can bring their canine pals along! Well, with Dog Airlines, you can ALL bring your dog right on the plane. The dogs would be in a large cage stationed between two people seats. There would be a gate to rise up and let the dog get in and lie on his fluffy pillow. and there would be a smaller hatch on the top so that if you felt the need to scratch your pal, you could. There would be water bowls inside the cages shaped like toilet bowls. The flight attendants with serve dog biscuits along with the anemic peanuts given to the people. One dog at a time could chase a ball down the aisle once it was safe to move about the cabin. In the back of the plane would be a dog restroom with Astroturf on the floor and a fire hydrant stationed in the middle. This room would be self cleaning. The flights would board by the name of the dogs, so that you would have the people at the desk saying, All right, we are ready to begin boarding. May I have Fido, Cuddles, Blackie, and Ginger ? Why, I would want to fly on such an airline, even if I weren’t traveling with my dog.

I was so sure this idea would work that I took a meeting with a venture capitalist. I told him all the ideas I just told you plus my idea for the logo on the tail of the plane, that being a dog’s head stuck out an airline window, his tongue hanging out, and his ears streaming straight back. I forgot to bring one critical thing to my meeting: The cost of such an operation, along with other matters of feasibility. Never mind. I don’t think the guy was serious anyway. He just wanted to talk about how to get his wife’s book published. I do still think Dog Airlines is a good idea, though. And a friend of mine designed a wonderful logo for it, although she called it Canine Airways. That’s a good name, too.

My latest idea is something I actually am trying to create right now. My neighbor, who is a contractor, and I like to take houses that have fallen on hard times and bring them back to glorious life. I suggested we design an age-in-place house, so that people would feel like they had an alternative to going to what many of them call one of Those Places. This would be all-on-one- floor living with special accommodations made for people who are getting on in years. My favorite idea was to have a pot filler built close to the floor so you could fill your dog dishes without running back-and-forth to the sink. But there would also be an upstairs and a downstairs to accommodate children and friends coming to visit. I still like this idea so much I might move into the place myself when it’s finished.

Today I drove through a neighborhood in the town where I am visiting that had many boarded up houses that were formerly nice places, a lot of broken windows, etc. etc. But you could see signs that the neighborhood was starting to come back, and I commented on this. One of the people in the car with me pointed to a falling down gas station and said, like that place? Never mind, I said. I would bring it back. And I would have those guys in white shirts and black bowties and perky hats come out to check your oil and fill up your car, too. That would be nice, he said, and I think he really meant it.

In a novel I wrote called THE YEAR OF PLEASURES, I created a store called What a Woman Wants, and it was filled with all manner of things that, well, women want. I was a little embarrassed when I turned the manuscript into my editor because there was a little too much wish fulfillment in that store, but guess what? She wanted more of the store in the book. Which only goes to show you.

[ once again, I have fallen behind on providing essays about old boyfriends. That’s because I’m away from home for a week. But there will be more of those coming.]