Day flipper

A memory from 50 years ago saves the day

Photo by jessie daniella on Unsplash

When I was a young nurse, I was working nights and making rounds. It was four in the morning when I opened the door of a middle-aged woman who was sitting at the side of her bed, in dim light, getting dressed. Let’s say her name was Anna. She was due to be discharged that day. She had multiple sclerosis, and had had treatment at our hospital, which had helped her quite a bit. Now she was going home. But it was four in the morning! I came into the room and smiled at her and said, “You must be eager to go home today!” She smiled back and said yes, she was, but the reason she was getting ready at four in the morning for a 8 am pick up, is that it took her a very long time to get dressed.

She must have seen the sadness in my face because she said, “I don’t mind. What has happened to me has been a blessing. You are young. You don’t understand this quite yet. But you will.”

She invited me to a meeting of patients with multiple sclerosis that was going to take place a few days later. She told me that if I came, I might learn something. I did go, and what I came away with is that people can remain themselves throughout ill consequences they may suffer. All around me that day, I saw people who were dealing with an illness that could be very difficult, but they were smiling, calm, enjoying themselves, learning things, and doing all that they could to make for a rich life.

It’s a rough day here for me. I’m having a great deal of pain after having had physical therapy yesterday. I think it all goes with the process of getting better, that you are going to have some rough days. My cure for myself today was to make Ann Hodgman’s cinnamon rolls, and if you’ve never had them, you really should try them. They are relatively easy to make, and I took my time. And in taking my time, I learned something about the value of slowing down. I’m usually in such a happy rush, doing this and doing that, but what is going on with me physically at the moment, is making me slow down with everything, and that has had enormous value. I fold the newspaper carefully and slowly to read it, and take pleasure in the pulpy feel of the pages. I take my time speaking to the mourning dove who lives on my porch. I lower my expectations about what I can do today. And you know what? It’s fine. It’s good. This different perspective has shown me the value of not feeling like I have to be doing something all the time. It, more than anything else, has shown me what it means to just be.

I think of Anna again now, sitting on the side of her bed, slowly rolling a single nylon stocking in preparation for putting it on. I think of how the darkness was all around her, but the light was coming soon, and she knew it, and she would embrace it when it arrived.

Who knows when the next important life lesson will come for any of us? I am grateful for so many things today, among them being the virtual bouquet I was given when Anna gently suggested that I might want to change my perspective on the life she was living. Today, more than 50 years later, it has helped me to change my perspective on my own.

Meanwhile, I wish you, whoever you are reading this, a beautiful day. And I thank you for taking the time that you are to spend with me. Whoever you are, I can feel you, and I’m grateful. And now, if you excuse me, I’m going down to have another cinnamon roll.

PS. The recipe is in a cookbook called BEAT THIS. It’s a great cookbook. You should buy it.