Austin : What’s up with mom?
Gabby: I don’t know. I think she’s sick.
Austin: Is she throwing up? I like when she throws up. I like to stand by the toilet bowl and watch.
Gabby: No, I heard her say it was a cervical disc thing.
Austin: Cervical disc? Is that like a frisbee?
gabby: I don’t think so. She’s been whining a lot. Poor thing.
Austin: Yeah, the other day I was trying to sleep and she woke me up because she was whining. Pretty annoying.
Gabby: I think she’s getting better, though. And don’t forget, we’ve been getting some pretty good food because she doesn’t like to open cans right now. I hope she doesn’t get better too fast. Do you like the chicken she’s been giving us or the hamburger better?
Austin: Hamburger of course. But she could heat it up a little, don’t you think? I mean in the microwave. It’s not so very hard, is it? Maybe I could stand on my hind legs and do it myself.
Gabby: Or maybe you could wander off to another part of the house so I could take my nap.
Austin: Okay but just one question: What if she doesn’t get better? That’s my only question. What if she doesn’t get better?
Gabby: I guess we can go and live on a farm or something. There would be chickens there. That would be fun. But I think she IS getting better so we probably won’t go anywhere. Now let me sleep.
Austin: It’s boring when you sleep. Sleep is the beep. Sleep is the weep. Sleep is the poop. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Lily: (wandering past with her tail stuck straight up in the air, not looking at either dog.) Listen to yourselves. No compassion, plus a large dose of idiocy.
Gabby: YOU’RE not compassionate! You are never compassionate. You don’t care about anything but sunshine and your wet food.
Lily: (hopping up on a table to lie in the sun) Not true. I just have the good taste not to let my compassion show.Now go and get your french fry toy, Austin, and leave both of us alone.
Austin: Fine. So, just to be clear, neither of you wants to play? Either of you? Gabby? Lily? Maybe in a little while? Huh? Maybe we could run around and around and around the house? Just a little?OK, I’ll plan on later. I’ll just lie here and wait.I might make a little noise. (grunts) Too much? Hello?
Lily is adorable and so smart. And Austin and Gabby are delightful. But you are suffering I fear and I’m so sorry. You will get better… damn pinched nerve! I hope your doctor has given you some good stuff to ease the pain and let you sleep and relax the nerve. My thoughts are with you with hopes things start looking up soon.
Perfect description of what a cat would say!! Hope you’re better soon.