DIALOGUE BETWEEN DOGS

Plus the cat chimes in

Austin : What’s up with mom?

Gabby: I don’t know. I think she’s sick.

Austin: Is she throwing up? I like when she throws up. I like to stand by the toilet bowl and watch.

Gabby: No, I heard her say it was a cervical disc thing.

Austin: Cervical disc? Is that like a frisbee?

gabby: I don’t think so. She’s been whining a lot. Poor thing.

Austin: Yeah, the other day I was trying to sleep and she woke me up because she was whining. Pretty annoying.

Gabby: I think she’s getting better, though. And don’t forget, we’ve been getting some pretty good food because she doesn’t like to open cans right now. I hope she doesn’t get better too fast. Do you like the chicken she’s been giving us or the hamburger better?

Austin: Hamburger of course. But she could heat it up a little, don’t you think? I mean in the microwave. It’s not so very hard, is it? Maybe I could stand on my hind legs and do it myself.

Gabby: Or maybe you could wander off to another part of the house so I could take my nap.

Austin: Okay but just one question: What if she doesn’t get better? That’s my only question. What if she doesn’t get better?

Gabby: I guess we can go and live on a farm or something. There would be chickens there. That would be fun. But I think she IS getting better so we probably won’t go anywhere. Now let me sleep.

Austin: It’s boring when you sleep. Sleep is the beep. Sleep is the weep. Sleep is the poop. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Lily: (wandering past with her tail stuck straight up in the air, not looking at either dog.) Listen to yourselves. No compassion, plus a large dose of idiocy.

Gabby: YOU’RE not compassionate! You are never compassionate. You don’t care about anything but sunshine and your wet food.

Lily: (hopping up on a table to lie in the sun) Not true. I just have the good taste not to let my compassion show.Now go and get your french fry toy, Austin, and leave both of us alone.

Austin: Fine. So, just to be clear, neither of you wants to play? Either of you? Gabby? Lily? Maybe in a little while? Huh? Maybe we could run around and around and around the house? Just a little?OK, I’ll plan on later. I’ll just lie here and wait.I might make a little noise. (grunts) Too much? Hello?